Renowned Genevan philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau had once said, “Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.” However, holding on to Rousseau’s words becomes really difficult when your little naysayer is constantly refusing to listen to you, and all you get is non-stop shrieking, throwing, and whining. We know that there is hardly any parent out there who has never felt angry, lost their patience, and yelled at the kids. After all, the kids can truly make it too difficult at times to hold on to that last shred of patience you’ve left.
But, losing your patience every time the kids go out of line can have some highly detrimental after-effects. In fact, as one of the top schools in Rohini for years, we, at Yuvashakti Model School, have even seen that when parents keep losing their patience on kids, it leaves long-term effects on the psyche, behavior, and disposition of the kids. Keeping that in mind, we, at Yuvashakti, have decided to shed some light today on the repercussions of losing your calm on your kids and will also share with you the most appropriate ways to help you handle such situations.
Activation of the limbic system as a result of being yelled at
According to Joseph Shrand, instructor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, kids tend to listen less when you end up yelling at them. Raising your voice at them activates their limbic system, which is a part of the brain that is responsible for the fight-or-flight response, among other things.
Thus, the result of losing your patience and yelling at them can be completely opposite to what you might expect. Your kids might freeze up, run away, or fight back. There is hence a greater chance of noticing a difference in the kids’ behavior when a request is communicated to them instead of a command.
Children learn from the cues they pick up from adults
We believe that a crucial aspect that has made us, at Yuvashakti Model School, become one of the top schools in Rohini is that we have always tried to set an example for our pupils with our conduct and ways. After all, the kids take no time in picking up habits and practices from the adults around them, particularly the parents and the teachers.
Thus, when we fail to stay level-headed and lose our temper repeatedly, the kids eventually learn that it’s the right thing to do. Unknowingly, they imbibe the idea that it’s okay to let the temperature rise in an unpleasant situation.
Losing your patience might mean losing the message to be delivered
We understand that you only lose your patience when the kids are pushing it too hard. All your calm admonishments and approaches fall to deaf ears when the young ones simply don’t want to listen.
However, our Principal, Mr Harinder Kumar, firmly believes that losing the patience on kids can never help to deliver the right message in such a scenario. We have seen that parents often say things like “what is wrong with you?” or “you never listen to me!” But that just ends up worsening the situation instead of showing the kids the folly of their ways.
How to handle your anger and keep calm with the kids
As one of the top schools in Rohini, our advice in this matter would be to start by recognizing your triggers as a parent, i.e., identify the situations that make you lose your calm so that you’re better prepared to handle it beforehand. After you’ve done that, try to talk yourself into calming down instead of reacting instantly.
As a matter of fact, it’s better to walk away from your kids when you feel that you’re just about to lose it. You can simply tell them that you’ll talk to them after you’ve calmed down, which also sends an important message to kids about not giving instant, emotional reactions to situations.
At Yuvashakti Model School, we understand that feeling angry is like a fact of life, and it can’t be stopped for good. However, it’s also a fact that we can take the necessary steps to control how we react to our anger. So, the key lies in getting angry without losing the temper. After all, the reprimands and reforms are much more effective that way.
